Page 3 Olympics

Shivjeet Kullar / TNN / Sep 4, 2007, 00:00 IST

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Shivjeet Kullar tells his tale of the 7 stage challenge he had to undergo to go and see Vanessa Mae who was in town.

Shivjeet Kullar tells his tale of the 7 stage challenge he had to undergo to go and see Vanessa Mae who was in town.That hottie Vanessa Mae came to town. I wanted to go and see her. Didn't realise that I was entering the Septathon - the gruelling 7 stage challenge in the Olympics. Anyway, here is a line up of the events.
100 METRES INVITATION DASH:
First, I had to run this way and that to get an invitation.There were none on sale, so it was a who-knows-who sprint. Finally, I located a cousin whose neighbour's uncle's friend's sister's husband's nephew had lots of passes to give away (hmm, this should have warned me).
PARKING POLE VAULT:

How can you make a car jump over 16 others to reach the lobby in time to catch the event? This was the theme of the evening when we arrived. Mercedes to the right, Bentley on the left, Audi behind and a Pajero on my roof!
FREESTYLE WRESTLING ENTRY:
As we entered the area outside the hall, there was a little place where hundreds of people were squeezed into, as they hadn't even opened the gates to the area outside the gates! Perfume attacked my nose, a red dress with silicone ammunition attacked my chest, diamond rings attacked my backside - a right regular Page 3 sardine can!

HEAVY WEIGHT LIFTING CONTEST :
After the first barrier it wasâ€¦ Can you carry a) A champagne glass in one hand b) A kebab in the other c) A full size 70 kg socialite dripping with diamonds on your foot and d) Still sprint for the only door they would open!
CHIFFON HIGH JUMP:
Once inside the hall, it became apparent that they had issued 100 per cent more passes than seats, so half the people kept standing. We shamelessly jumped over all the chiffoned bodies and grabbed a seat!
STANDING MARATHON:
The people standing got more and more desperate . One large, rich looking man with his little wife behind him said to me 'Psst, I'll give you 5,000 rupees if you let me sit down!' 'What about your wife?' I asked outraged. He considered for a moment and said, 'Fine, I'll throw her into the deal also!'
DESIGNER HURDLES:
There were so many people standing that all we could see were designer clothes. Through them, I could only see one corner of the stage where some Ustad Khan played on the sitar. And Vanessa?
Well Mae be next time!

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