Exclusive! My failed relationships have been because of faults of both partners, says Eijaz Khan

In Lucknow sometime back, actor Eijaz Khan said that he was quite in love with the city and its people. In an exclusive chat while shooting for an upcoming OTT project in Lucknow, actor Eijaz Khan delved deeper into his personal evolution, reflecting on childhood trauma, failed relationships, singlehood at 50, and the shifting sands of television. The Bigg Boss 14 finalist, who once bared his soul about being molested as a child, instilling a profound fear of physical touch, credits the show for teaching him emotional resilience and calm amid chaos.Falling for Lucknow’s Charm“I find the people of Lucknow to be very nice. The way they talk, comfortably, the way they work comfortably, the way they live a peaceful life is worth admiring,” he said. “I think that the word peaceful has left everyone’s dictionary in the metros but it is still visible in Lucknow. So, for me, it was a change of gear, all of a sudden from top gear to first gear.” He highlighted even everyday experiences like hospital visits as reflective of the city’s unique culture. “Like if I go to the hospital, people work very comfortably. I realized that’s a culture, that’s a way of life. And they don’t think that they are doing it slowly and yet everyone is doing it to their best.” This slower pace allowed Eijaz to reconnect with simple joys he had long overlooked. “In Lucknow, I started getting up at 8 in the morning. I was living in Malihabad and the air was so pure. I used to go out in the sunlight and I would walk barefoot in the grass. I also ate the best food. I came here for a week or so and finished a film. Then I came here for Shorgul and before that for Tanu Weds Manu. That time too, I had such a great time.”Memories of roaming with co-star Deepak Dobriyal added to the charm. “I used to sit in a cycle rickshaw with Deepak bhai and roam around in Gomti Nagar. It used to be fun conversing with the rickshaw wala.” Khan concluded, “So, this is a cultural shock for us. Because coming from a city like Mumbai, which is so aggressively fast, we forget to breathe and pause.”Reflections on Relationships and TraumaOffering a balanced view of his past relationships, Eijaz stressed more on shared responsibility over finger-pointing. “On hindsight and retrospect, when you try to dissect a relationship, it ends up sounding like I am talking about their faults. And if I don’t talk about their faults, it sounds like I’m taking the blame on myself. But if I’m talking about their faults, I’m not being a gentleman. In simple terms, my failed relationships have been because of the faults of both partners.”Talking about marriage and relationships, Eijaz has faced constant trolling and scrutiny online after his exes levied different allegations against him on podcasts. “Whenever my exes have said something about me, those things have been twisted and taken out of context. With a different question, their reaction was put out of context. On one of the podcasts, one of my exes was alleged to have said that I tried to convert her to my religion. Aisa kabhi kuchh hua hi nahi, and later on she too denied having said that. Venting out is not a problem. I don’t want to start a verbal battle with my exes. I’ve never done that, and I’ll never do it.”“Having experienced physical abuse as a child, I always had this deep-seated fear of physical touch. But I think I have come a long way since. My Bigg Boss experience has also taught me a lot. Now, I have realized that the calmer person is in control of the argument. So now, I try to pause and maintain calm, unless and until triggered beyond a point where I have to react,” he said.Television: Glory Days to New RealitiesEijaz also reflected on TV’s evolution, contrasting its golden era with today’s fast-changing landscape and production pressures. “The actors of my time saw the most beautiful period of television. We saw real stardom on television. In Lucknow, a young man recognized me as he used to watch my TV shows. Now, coming to why are things not working, I feel the audience and the taste of the audience is evolving so fast, very fast. Sometimes when I speak to my directors, they have this thing, ‘Eijaz, you know, it’s a second screen’. Today, the first screen is your phone. You have to realize somebody is sitting with their phone and then watching the show. We fiddle and then we go to the second screen. Also, nowadays, what is the longevity of the show? The channels do not give a producer the leeway. They give 6 months to run a show. The show is getting shut down in 40 days. Can you blame the producers for making what they’re making? You can’t. So I am completely sympathetic towards them,” he said.Embracing age and family longingsTransitioning to personal life at 50, Eijaz shared his solo struggles and growth. “I don’t have any help in Mumbai. Managing a house at my age of 50 is not a kid’s play. So I have to call myself a wise man because if not now, then when? I have embraced my age completely, and I am enjoying this phase of life so much. See, all my life I have always thought that I want my own family. I wanted my family selfishly; I wanted my person selfishly, which I never got! I never had a mother, and my sister was mostly absent from my life. I didn’t have a strong female figure in my life and always had a craving for that kind of love.”Happy single at 50?One being asked if he’s happy being single at 50, and the 120 Bahadur actor said, “Now I am happy and selfish! Now I do not want to take the chance of anyone disturbing my peace of mind. I don’t want to marry or be in a relationship again. I am set in my ways now, and I cannot expect somebody else to be tailor-made to the way I am. Arranged marriage is too much of a risk.”Although the actor feels he would have been a wonderful father. “I have the right mix of emotions. I would have been a great father, and so if it has to happen, it will happen. Right now, I want to take care of my health, which is a cause of concern because I had a lot of ailments and surgeries in the last 2-3 years. So, I want to focus completely on my physical and mental health and not think about anything else, like marriage or parenthood,d as of now.”