Exclusive – Erica Fernandes on doing intimate scenes on-screen: Some things are very private, I don’t want anyone to envision me in such a moment

Erica Fernandes, one of the ruling names in the television industry, is currently on a break and taking time for the right project to come by. While the actress has independent projects, she spoke about having limited choices when it comes to choosing scripts. With the boom of digital medium, Erica spoke to ETimes TV about the limitations she has, how she doesn’t want to see herself doing an intimate scene on-screen and more. She also gave a glimpse into her growing up years, fighting image issues, what led her to become an introvert, the challenges she faced in the TV industry, link-ups and much more. (Images: From Instagram)

There’s always been a considerable amount of break I take in between projects. Break is very necessary when you do TV. When you dedicate so many months of your life to a show, you are invested in that show. You practically don’t have a life. You don’t have time for yourself, you don’t have time for your family. You don’t have time to do anything you want. You need that amount of time for yourself and family once the show gets over.

That used to be the case years ago. It’s not there now. If you are from South, and South audience is looking at you, they will figure out if you are from the place or not. If I go to Hollywood, people will know that I am not from the place. Right now, the South industry has changed a lot. Being a South Indian, it makes me feel really good.

I was very skinny back then. I was 18-year-old when I started doing South films. I worked for a couple of years. During that time, I did have to face issues. I was thin and not fit according to them at that point of time. They wanted some mass on me. For that reason, I had to be padded up to get into the character they wanted to portray. I have faced those issues. I don’t think I would do that anymore now.

Yes, it did. It kind of played inside my head mentally. I started questioning myself – the way I looked, is there something wrong with me, is there something I am lacking. It played a huge part in making me an introvert. A lot of things happened in my growing years that made me an introvert, made me stay away from people because I didn’t want to hear a certain thing. At that point of time, it played with my self esteem. I had to get myself out of that. There were a few phases when I was really low. I used to look at myself and wonder – what is really wrong? Why can’t people accept how they are?

The day I got replaced in my film, I was like ‘Didn’t they know that I am like this?’ I had put in a lot of effort to gain weight and I did gain a few kilos. The hero was also bulking up. From what I saw him to what he became on the day I was on set, I was like ‘what just happened!’ He bulked up even more. And compared to him, my efforts went down the drain, because my changes weren’t visible. That’s life. Things like that happened and it has only made me stronger. Many things happened, and if they didn’t happen, it wouldn’t have made me who I am today. Everything around me, my perception towards life is different because of what I had gone through.

There are certain things like – extremely intimate scenes. I wouldn’t get into it. These are the limitations I have put on myself. I wouldn’t want to see myself doing on-screen. It’s not that my family has stopped me from doing it. Some things are very personal and private and I wouldn’t want to share those moments or let anyone envision you in that probable scenario. I don’t even want any body-double to do that so that people think it is me doing the scene. That restricts my choices.

It doesn’t affect us mentally because we know that after a certain point of time, these things are bound to happen. We know there will be link-ups and rumours because we spend so much time together. When you enter the industry, these stories will come. We knew where we stand and what the real story was. When you say something, people will talk more and think more. We also get misinterpreted and misquoted. What you read is not always true. People have linked me with Rahul also. That’s the funniest thing. He is like a brother to me.