'Bharat ki jodi aagey' and other things

Lampooned for so long in the many spy spoofs on screen, the Queen finally decided enough was enough. So in real life, real time she chose to be pushed off a chopper to become the latest Bond girl.
Perhaps, it was the first time she was visiting some place known as East End. That's why she had to be airdropped in, someone observed.
Opening ceremonies can be tough.They come with a lot of peer pressure. Not just for the guys behind the show, but even for those who have to watch.
What if you are not an opening, closing ceremony kind of person and parachuting grannies not your thing? The only reason you wait for the march-past is to make a mental note of which Puerto Rican or Venezuelan female athletes to watch for over the fortnight. Still, you don't want to cut a sorry figure at the water-cooler at work the next day, so you sit through it all.
Even if it all eventually became an offering of Britain's true legacy to the world - rock - the ensuing medley could have been in any pub, or simply, on your wafer-thin music machines. In any case, French being the primary medium of instruction in the English capital told us how the world order stands today.
But the orchestrated festivities also meant that it was time for the real action. Like in the rowing events, where there was a simultaneous cycling race along the bank by the rowers' coaches - eyes on the water, cycling ahead by instinct. What, you wondered, would happen to the cyclists if there was a photo-finish on the water?
Also as if on cue, the DD announcer flashing her pearly whites told us, "Bharat ki jodi iss samay ek set se aagey," when clearly Indonesian pair of Ahmad and Natsir had taken the opening set against Jwala Gutta and Diju, and soon the game too.
"Yes. And you know, they are the reigning All England champions too," the voice in English helpfully offered. The Games are on and things are no different than before.