Marriage and other animals

Guess what? This week, I will be completing 9,131 days of marriage – you know what that adds up to – 25 years! So, I guess that’s given me ample time to study the subject from all directions. Next week I’ll be applying to the University of Marriageshire for a PHD on the subject. Right now, I’d like to share a little of my research with you. These are some of the different kinds of married couples I’ve observed.
Me Eagle she ostrich: When I came to Delhi twenty years back, I used to see a lot of this. The guy would be in some import-export business and had travelled the world while the wife had been left behind in more ways than one. So, he would sit with his scotch and soda and talk about the terminals in Heathrow airport while she would have a nimbu paani and munch on cashew nuts in the background. (It was then I made a list of 10 cities over the world to show Sonia. Now, I only have Athens left).
Me Tarzan You Jane: This is a marriage not of two people, but two sets of abs, muscles and chiselled bodies. They both wear very tight clothes and kind of model all over the place. Last week, I saw a couple like this outside PVR, they were standing posed and studying all us mere mortals with our little paunches.
She Fox He Bear: In this relationship, the man can be huge, meaty, scary-looking but it is the wife who makes all the strategic moves. She is often very petite, much smaller than him, but make no mistake, she controls everything.
She Hyena He Hernia: Possibly one of the oldest combinations in the world but it still exists. The woman is an out and out nag and the man is as weak as a mouse. Often he is small and thin and she is large and well, painful.
He Tiger She Shut Up: Sadly, this is getting more common. A guy continues to hunt and womanize after getting married. I think, it’s a very North Indian thing. You’d be surprised, how many ‘modern’ young couples this is happening to.
She Swan He Cheetah: How come some of the guys with the most stunning looking wives keep playing the field fast and loose? Simple – she had many suitors and he got her because he was the best hunter – so why should he stop hunting just because he is married?
I take this opportunity to wish my lovely wife Happy Anniversary – ‘you swan me homing pigeon’!Follow us on Twitter for more stories