Hey you, dial at your own risk

You have a simple task. Your credit card bills are not reaching you. You dial some easy number like 233003300 or something like that.
It rings. Great. They ask you to press 1 for English 2 for Hindi and 3 for Sanskrit. Then they ask you to type in your credit card number, your blood group, the number of bones in your body and at what age you lost your virginity etc etc.
Finally you’re done.But no! A voice says, “All our operators are busy, your call is important to us, please stay on the line.” So you stay on the line. And stay. And stay.
After you’ve heard the voice 64 times someone comes on the line and says, “Hullo, my name is Malini, how can I help you?” You say you are not getting your bills. They ask you your card number again. Then they ask, “Do you have the super duper secret 71 digit nuclear online password?” You say “No”. “No problem sir, I’ll ask you three easy questions for verification.” You say, “Alright, go ahead.”
“Right sir, your first question, what was your last transaction?” So you say “Err...I spent 2000 bucks at a massage parlour.” The voice on the other end is in shock, you actually got that right!
“Sir your second question, if you take your last three transactions, multiply them by Sachin’s batting average, then divide it by Mayavati’s age, what would be the answer?”
You think furiously. Then answer “56700.154.” By now the voice on the other side is furious. You got that right too.
So then comes the third question. What were your last three bills? You are stumped. “I don’t know,” you say, “I am not getting my bills.” “Sorry sir,” says the voice in triumph, “You’ll have to call again.”
“Please Malini,” you beg, by now you know who’s the boss. So you plead, “Don’t leave me like this, give me one more chance!” The begging works. “Ok sir, for you a tie breaker question. What is more important? Love or money?” “Oh no”, you think.
Obviously a trick question. “Money,” you answer. “How cruel,” she says. “You are heartless. People like you don’t deserve credit cards. You are wrong.”
You are totally crushed. Then to rub it in further, she asks, “May I help you in any other way?” You try logic. “Madam, if I don’t get my bills how can I pay them?” A laugh from
the other end. “You are harassing me with these questions sir, be thankful I am not reporting you. Goodnight. See you in jail.” The phone goes dead.
You have a simple task. Your credit card bills are not reaching you. You dial...
(shivjeetk@gmail.com)