Things I wish I knew before announcing my pregnancy to the relatives

Today I am a mother of a 3 year old but when I was expecting and we decided to reveal the beautiful news to our relatives, what followed gave me some disturbing nights. It is necessary to prepare your mind for certain things before you make that announcement. Here are 5 things I wish I knew before announcing my pregnancy to the relatives because I sure did have a tough time. If you have anything more to add, do share with us in the comments section below.

Yes any good news especially that of a baby coming into the family will be met with excitement but sometimes the overexcitement can take a toll on an expecting mother. If you are too conscious of the vibes, then you will feel that you have to guard your health and your baby’s movement a bit more than usual. You go through an internal turmoil that so much of happiness may turn into something bad. It is indeed a pessimistic attitude but many mothers are unable to help but think about this. I was one of those moms and I was scared.

Now that you are bringing in a new member, you will have all the ladies in the family giving you unsolicited advice. They will pressurise you to do things that they did for their kid or your own husband. It can be very annoying and relatives tend to go overboard with it. This is when you have to hold yourself together. To avoid a fight just smile and say yes but do only what you want to do for your kid. Listen to the positive advice but if something is not suiting your mindset do not do it. When I gave the news, I felt that pressure and one day I even had a mental breakdown. My husband too thought that what his relatives are saying is right and that I too should follow it. It was nothing negative but even I as a woman and a mother had my own ideas of how I will make things happen. I count that as the worst time of my life but kept myself together throughout.

Indian mother-in-laws, in most cases, can be very invasive of your space. They want to know your each and every move before the baby as is and once you are expecting, it grows three fold. It came down to a point where my mother-in-law would micromanage me and keep tabs on all my activities. There was no longer a me-time for me and no matter what I felt, it was there until I had the baby.

There is overexcitement but when you tell people you are expecting, there will always be some members who will have negative thoughts. Their bad vibes are just not good for an expecting mother. I do believe that negative thoughts and vibes around you affect your health and so it did. When I was 7 months pregnant, some relatives started thinking about premature birth and how these things happen. The gynae told me all is well but when I had a severe stomach ache I thought we both were doomed! It was just a case of acidity but my thoughts wandered elsewhere. You have to be really strong mentally to block out such people. I had a hard time even when I am a strong personality myself.

No matter what you have planned to get for your baby and how you want to bring up the kid beginning with what you want for their wardrobe, people will try to dictate you. Yes husbands too have a say as they are rhe father but certain things should be left to the mother who is actually doing the job of giving birth and keeping the baby for 9 months. Just when I brought him in sync with my thoughts as to how we should keep a helper and how I will manage it and what all he has to do, I had my mother-in-law and his sisters trying to dictate to me.

I wanted to give birth somewhere well equipped but since the family had all the kids at this particular hospital (which is just two levels above a village while we stay in a metro city) they were making arrangements without asking me. It was a major fight and some stress that I went through when I was full term. Be very clear what you want and communicate that to your relatives. Stand by your decision and let them know that you are the mom and you get to decide where your baby will come. It is in the end your call and no one can pressurise you into doing what they want. If simply out, it is not necessary that what suited your relatives, will suit you.

Before you lose your mind, do remember that today we have major generation gaps and so the thinking process too shall be different. Do consider the people, think what’s best for you and it is important that you analyse the pros and cons of everything.

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