Her Story: I am a married, independent, working woman. I have been earning since I was 21 and I have never told anyone how I spend my income. But post my marriage, my husband insists that I tell him how I spend my money. I find the request totally baseless and unnecessary. I never ask him what he does with his hard earned money so why does he have to know about mine? It is very suffocating and makes me feel guilty if I splurge once in a while.
His Story: My wife works hard and her money belongs to her but I have seen hardships in my life and I want to make sure that she doesn’t blow her money where it’s not required. I try and give her all the comforts. In fact I am also okay with sharing details of my monthly spends with her. I don’t think it’s a big deal if I ask her about her money!
Expert advice by Mrs Hina Beg, Solution Therapist: When a close watch is kept on someone then it may leave the other person all drained out mentally. When we see parents monitoring the pocket money they give their child, it affects their freedom to choose and decision making skills. The kids feel irritated, angry, upset, disappointed at times and sometimes confused. With age this phenomenon does not change. The intensity may vary or if the person matures in a more inclusive way.
As adults when we start earning and the if someone questions us for the same, it feels like nagging, a mental fatigue sets in. There is no harm in sharing but these questions can cause a rift between couples. Trusting and not playing the blame game takes a little time and then you do learn to navigate.
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