Query: My husband slapped me once in front of our 5-year-old daughter. I was shocked at the moment when it happened as we were fighting one moment and the next, he slapped me without any hesitation. I want to slap him back now, but should I do this in front of our daughter to let her know that her mom isn't scared of anyone?
Response by Shivani Misri Sadhoo: It depends on certain aspects. If this is the first time your husband has slapped you, he must have thought about it before. Possibilities are he has been verbally and emotionally abusing you for years.
A little here, a little there and he has finally worked up to the slap. It is downhill from here, it’s escalating. It will not get better by itself.
The best thing is demanding counselling as a couple and individually for both of you. For him so he can check out what was in his mind going on and it was okay to hit you, let alone in front of your child. For you because “why would you be willing to stay with a person who would treat you that manner?” Together so you can find out how to properly communicate without arguing and certainly so it does not become physical. And, you don’t really need to hit him in front of your daughter just to prove anything.
There are better ways to prove and convince your daughter that shows you are strong. Hitting back may only escalate more violent outcomes.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Psychologist and Relationship Expert, Founder Director Saarthi Counselling Services