Query: My husband keeps calling me fat and casually calls me names like pig, elephant. He makes fun of my body even in the presence of our friends and extended family. We got married three years ago and last year we turned parents. I am 5’5 and I gained weight after our baby and he has been forcing me to lose weight immediately. If I confront him for mocking me for my weight, he says he is trying to encourage me to shed excess fat. Isn’t this body shaming? Do I deserve this? It’s taking a toll on my confidence and self image. I have started to hate myself.
Expert advice by AiR Atman in Ravi, Spiritual leader and Founder of AiR Institute of Realization and AiR Center of Enlightenment:
The key to success in any marriage is communication, respect and love. You need to express and tell your husband that it is disrespectful and unacceptable to call you pig, elephant or any name with an intent to body shame you when alone or in front of anyone else. You may have gained excess weight and you may be a bit overweight post-pregnancy, but it is normal and with a conscious effort you will surely lose the excess weight. However, it does not mean that anyone, even your husband can disgrace you. You have your own consciousness. You yourself desire to lose weight. If you wish to lose weight, then you should take charge of your life and do the needful. There is no point in hating yourself because someone else disgraces you. You must realize that marriage is an institution that stands on the pillars of love, respect and communication. If any of these pillars fall weak, the marriage will crumble and break. Realize the importance of these factors, discuss with your husband and make him understand the difference between mockery, body-shaming and encouragement. All the best!
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