Listen to your child
There is a lot of confusion regarding where to draw a line when it comes to play-dressing the children.
How will you know that they are dressing up as a different gender's person purely out of curiosity or do they find solace in that identity?
What is the difference between mirroring someone and craving to be a part of that gender?As the historic judgement on scraping of section 377 of the Indian Penal Code finally makes sure that India is on the right side of the history, there is still a lot to be learnt about the early signs of a transgender child.
When a child starts expressing desire to dress up according to his/her own desire, they start verbalising what they like to wear and what they don’t.
As a parent, noticing these signs may help you understand your kids better and also make it easier for you to transition through the change.
Wanting to pee the other way
As a child, it must be pretty confusing and difficult to make the parents understand why they wish to use the bathroom, which is meant for the other gender.
One sign that may tell you that your child is a transgender is if they tell you that they are not able to go to the washroom that they wanted to and hence ended up holding their pee. (and, in turn, soiling their clothes)
Taking dress-ups seriously
While it's normal for parents to dress up their kids--the way they want--when they are younger, it is when the kids start to hit their late adolescence when they start making their own sartorial choices.
Pay attention to subtle verbal cues like a girl child saying that she does not like wearing dresses or a boy shows inclination towards colours like lilac and pink.
Referring to them as the opposite gender
Notice the usage of verbs by the child. For example, a transgender child is more likely to say that “I am a girl” rather than saying “I wish I was a girl.”
No interest in activities conventionally related to their gender
The kind of games and activity preferences of kids can reveal a lot. While it is completely normal for girls to play with trucks and buses and boys to play with dolls--listen how your child verbalises the activity. Notice if there's any disgust or a feeling of completely disowning the conformed gender activity.
An example would be a trans girl saying that playing with trucks and action figures is something boys do.
Not getting the conventional haircut
If a child is very particular about keeping his haircut in a certain way that usually doesn't match with his gender identity, it may be his way of giving subtle symptoms. Again pay attention to how they describe their haircut, if a girl child uses sentences like long hair is for girls, she may be uncomfortable in her current gender status.
Not liking their name
A name is the most personal belonging. If your child is not happy with the gender that his/her name conforms to, and instead insists on adopting a pet name or calls himself from another name that belongs to the opposite sex--you need to find its root cause.
In addition, parents must communicate clearly with their child, comforting them and asking them by the name they would like to be addressed.
Frustration over their genitals
According to doctor Diane Ehrensaft, Developmental & Clinical Psychologist, kids who express discomfort and irritation with their genitals is a sign that they are not happy with their gender.
The takeaway
The above-mentioned pointers may help you understand what is going on in your child's mind, even then it is always better to consult an expert as they are better equipped in dealing with the feelings of confusion and unfamiliarity that your kid may be facing.
A professional will also make sure that you develop a good bond with your child and understand his/her needs in a more proficient manner.