5 ways to help a child deal with anger and teach them how to cope with it

Anger can be an intense emotion which even adults find tough to control at times. With the little ones, not only can it be a stressful emotion, it can also feel very concerning for parents to see children go through such big emotions. If your child gets frustrated or blows up at the tiniest of events, yells, or worse, gets aggressive, you know what we are talking about.

Also read: 6 positive phrases to say when your child has a meltdown

Yelling, crying, shouting or throwing a fit in anger can be common signs of an outburst kids have. While it's very important to use the right phrases and calm an angry child when they are having a meltdown and know what's causing them such intense pain, it's also necessary to teach them vital skills and combatting techniques to keep their anger levels under control, so that they process their feelings in a healthier manner, and know how to tackle problems in the future.

Communication is a key skill which all children need to be taught, starting at home. One of the most common reasons for kids to get angry, hit or lash out at a young age is when they do not know how exactly to let out what they feel- or do not have an outlet or necessary support to bring out their emotions. Thus, it's often said that emotion regulation and constructive handling of such intense emotions is an essential childhood skill.

When you acknowledge, wholeheartedly support and let your child know that it's okay to undergo such feelings, you make it easier for them to open up to you, and find a better outlet for their intense emotions, instead of getting angry every time.

Apart from working through the root causes and emotions, it's also helpful if you have the right tools and words ready, when and where your child has a meltdown or gets an anger outburst. Remember, the right words make all of the difference.

Although it can be incredibly difficult to keep your own emotions (and anger) under check in such moments, it's always advisable that parents and caretakers have a go-to plan ready, use the right phrases to calm a child down, instead of fueling up the rage further, for you and them.

If you do have a child who gets angry often and you find it hard to make him or her get better, try dedicating a corner in your house as a calm-down corner, where kids can retreat themselves to, when they experience such feelings. Encouraging them to do something soothing, or what makes them feel happier (and calmer) may also work wonders and help dial down emotions. As they get used to this, they'll start to feel more responsible for their actions as well.

What's also important , apart from recognizing their feelings, is that you make them aware about what an episode is and what they should be doing to control their emotions in such times. Teaching them deep breathing is an excellent way to cope and have a calming strategy ready which kids can try themselves. You could also make use of fun DIY tools such as an anger-thermometer (a drawn up figure with different markings for anger levels) and be in sync of how they feel.

If your child is old enough to understand some form of discipline, teach them to immediately walk it off, or count to a number when they feel angry.

While you work towards making them less angry or impulsive, you should also be in control of what you are exposing your child towards, knowingly or unknowingly. Even if your child displays the slightest hints of aggression or lashing out, showing them violent films/ games could aggravate issues. Multiple researches have now also shown that violent media can cause mental health issues, and disrupt emotional regulation for kids. Work towards showcasing films, media, shows, books or games which are peaceful, or promote healthy well-being.

One of the most common mistakes parents often make at such delicate moments is to give into a child's demands or comfort just to pacify them. While it temporarily solves the problem at hand, this teaches children a bad example. Also, if your child lashes out or tends to hit an object or another person, treating them gives them an idea that what they did is justifiable, when it's not. Therefore, while you work together with your child to take control of the situation and help them feel better, make them realize that impulsive actions, hitting or breaking things would have consequences.

These self-regulation tactics, and cultivating anger-management skills can take time to show results. However, if you work through with a calm mind yourself, you'll observe a difference, and perhaps see your child treating emotions better.

However, if you find your child undergoing such chronic episodes more often, you could also seek help from qualified counselors and professionals who can help them get to the root cause, or find out other concerns which need to be addressed.