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5 reasons why toddlers find sharing difficult in early childhood

TOI Lifestyle Desk
| etimes.in | Last updated on - Mar 6, 2026, 12:00 IST
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5 reasons why toddlers find sharing difficult in early childhood

The ability to share is regarded as a vital social skill which children need to acquire at a tender age. Nevertheless, parents observe that their toddlers face difficulties when it comes to sharing, especially toys, food, or even attention. This has, at times, been misinterpreted as a manifestation of stubbornness or selfishness in young children. Nevertheless, experts in child development argue that this is a normal part of a child’s development. At this tender age, a toddler is still learning about emotions, ownership, and social interactions. At this age, a toddler’s brain is developing rapidly, but some social skills, such as empathy, patience, and cooperation, take time to develop. Understanding the key reasons why toddlers find sharing a difficult process can help parents handle the situation with patience rather than frustration. Below are five key reasons why toddlers find sharing a difficult process in their young lives.

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Toddlers are still learning the concept of ownership

Toddlers, at this stage, begin to understand the concept of ownership, i.e., “mine.” This is a critical stage in a child’s life since it helps the child develop a sense of identity. When a toddler says, “My toy,” this shows that the child has begun to understand the concept of ownership. At this stage, it would not be wise to ask a toddler to give a toy to another person, since this would confuse the child. At this tender age, a toddler is not being selfish, but rather the child is trying to understand the concept of ownership. With time, a toddler learns that sharing can be a fun experience too.

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Limited understanding of empathy




Empathy, or the ability to understand how someone else feels, is also a skill developed over time. Toddlers are still learning how to understand how someone else feels, and this is why sharing is hard for them. For example, a toddler may not understand why another toddler wants to play with the same toy as him or her. They are still learning how to understand other people’s feelings, and this is why sharing is hard for them. Toddlers are mostly focused on their own feelings and needs, and as they get older and interact with other people, they slowly begin to understand other people’s feelings and needs as well.

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Strong emotional attachment to favourite toys




Toddlers also tend to form strong emotional attachments to certain objects, such as a favourite toy, favourite blanket, or favourite stuffed animal. Toddlers tend to find comfort and security in these objects, especially when they are uncertain or scared about something. Toddlers tend to get emotionally attached to certain objects, and when someone else asks to play with or share the object with the toddler, it is as if they are losing something very precious to them. Toddlers tend to share their favourite objects with someone else only if they are comfortable and secure with the idea of sharing, and parents should encourage sharing or the idea of sharing slowly with toddlers.

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Difficulty with patience and waiting




Toddlers also tend to find it hard to share with someone else because of their difficulty in waiting for their turn or being patient with someone else who is playing with the object they want to play with as well. Toddlers tend to be impatient and want everything immediately, and this is why they find it hard to share with someone else, as they want the object they want to play with immediately as well. Toddlers to still be learning how to wait for their turn, and this is why sharing is hard for them, as the part of the brain responsible for self-regulation is still developing. This is why toddlers to still be learning how to control their impulses and wait for their turn.

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Desire for independence and control

Children at the toddler stage are at an age where they are learning to assert their independence. At this stage, they want to explore the world around them on their own terms. Saying no, or refusing to share, may sometimes be their way of asserting control over their environment. However, this does not necessarily mean that the toddlers are being rebellious. It is actually an assertiveness that stems from their growing confidence. As parents, if they handle the situation with calmness, the toddlers learn to understand the value of cooperation without feeling forced to do so. Eventually, they learn that sharing is also an important aspect of positive social interactions

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