Why do kids bully?
It is one thing to protect your child from bullies but what if your child IS a bully? If you are a strong believer of practicing kindness, it may shock you when you notice or get a complaint from your kid’s school that they were found bullying other kids. Before you react with rage or sadness, keep in mind that kids don’t bully because they are “bad kids.” Their bullying behavior does not necessarily mean that your child is a bad person. Even nice kids can make mistakes and there could be multiple reasons why your child is being unkind to other kids.
Talk to your child
The first thing you should do is talk to your child about the situation. Address it directly and privately with a cool head and allow your child space to express their side of the story. Having a conversation in which you allow your child to talk openly about the situation can help you understand why social aggression is happening and how you can stop it.
Your child may have low self-esteem or anxiety
Sometimes, your child’s low self-esteem may be leading to their social aggression. Bullying gives them the sense of “power” and “control” which boost their self-esteem, though in a negative way. Some kids are unable to figure out why they are acting out. They could be struggling with anxiety, trauma, or another mental health issue.
Foster healthy friendship skills
Teach your child to build healthy friendships rather than bullying other kids. Encourage them to understand how the one being bullied might feel because of their bad behavior. Teach them to apologize and repair their act. Let them choose their own medium for apologizing.
Check your own behavior too
Sometimes kids pick bad behavior from people in their house, copying how their parents treat them or each other or other people around them. Introspect to check if your child is modeling on any bad behavior picked from you or your partner.
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Consult a child psychologist
It is ok if you are struggling with handling your child who is bullying others. Do not feel ashamed of consulting a child psychologist or psychiatrist who has experience in evaluating kids’ behaviors. They can help you figure out the root cause of the situation and help your child manage their emotions and behavior in a better way.
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