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The negotiations every child tries at least once with their parents

TOI Lifestyle Desk
| iStock | Last updated on - Jan 16, 2026, 16:30 IST
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The negotiations every child tries at least once with their parents



All children eventually become miniature negotiators in their homes. Ranging from negotiating bedtime and homework to requesting a slightly pricey item, these negotiating processes are a common experience for children growing up. They may seem very amusing and exaggerated on the outside; however, these processes show children learning skills for persuasion and emotional management. Below are some classic negotiations that almost all children are confident enough to conduct with their parents.

2/6

“Just five more minutes, please!”

This will very likely be one of the first negotiation techniques learned by children, perhaps when it comes to bedtime, TV, or playtime. The child sees five minutes as no big deal, but the parent knows better, knowing as well as any adult just how easily five minutes turns into fifteen. Behind this plea for five minutes, one sees a child learning to negotiate, to explore the boundaries of flexibility. The child learns about time awareness and about attachment to pleasant activities. For the parent, this becomes a sound lesson in consistency: agree once, and next day the negotiation changes to ten minutes.

3/6

“Everyone else’s parents allow it.”

This assertion is made with utmost assurance and without any proof. Children resort to comparison, and it gives them an impression that it will help bolster their claim. It could be having a mobile phone, staying late, and not playing by the rules; the aim of the exercise is always to make the parents seem very rigid. What the children are actually doing is acquiring an element of social and peer awareness.

4/6

“I promise I'll finish my homework later.”




This negotiation typically occurs when homework gets in the way of fun. The child truly believes that their future motivation levels will be stronger than their current levels of temptation. This indicates a strong level of planning, albeit planning that is not well-followed through. This negotiation, from the parent’s side, also represents a great opportunity for instilling qualities of discipline in the child. Rewarding the child comes with trust, but lack of reward comes with discipline.

5/6

“If I do this, can I get that?”

It is the traditional deal-making identification. It is a stage whereby children start trading tasks or good deeds for rewards in the form of toys, treats, or permissions. It is a reflection of real-life negotiation for adults. It is a positive manner that indicates good morals. It is now that parents have to teach a lesson about intrinsic motivation.

6/6

‘I won’t ask again, this is the last time.’

Ironically, never has this statement been less true. Put in quotes, it becomes a tool kids use to impress emotional significance, as if desperation will convince their parents. Emotion has more power than reason in these statements. Kids are learning about tone, repetition, and emotions. One way parents handle these statements is to demonstrate that kids need concrete rules, not impressive speeches.

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Copyright © May 28, 2026, 01.21PM IST Bennett, Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved. For reprint rights: Times Syndication Service