Phrases parents can use to discipline
Parenting isn't a cakewalk. Rather it is an arduous task that requires a lot of effort and patience. Moments of vulnerability, insecurity, the feeling of not being good enough are very common and likely to arise from time to time. However, there are parenting hacks and tricks that can help you maintain a good rapport with your kids while also keeping them in order.
Most of the time, the kind of language you use holds the answer to everything. That said, here are some one-liners that you as a parent can use to discipline kids without making them feel too bad about themselves.
Also read: Mistakes your parents made that influence your own parenting style
"I understand how difficult it is"
When it comes to parenting, it is not only about telling children what to do and what not to do, but is also about empathizing with them, their struggles and letting them know that you understand them. This sense of validation that you know how they're feeling and that you acknowledge why they're feeling what they're feeling gives them a boost and also helps them through difficult emotions.
"It's okay to make mistakes"
Constructive criticism is one thing and nagging your child for every mistake they commit is another. No human is perfect and mistakes are inevitable. Now bringing it up again and again and criticizing your child over it only harms their confidence and their personality. That said, saying phrases like "It's okay to make mistakes", "There's always a next time", "We all have made mistakes in our lives" will make your child feel better and be more watchful in the future.
"I have trouble understanding you when you talk like that"
"Stop talking like that", "shut up", "Stop whining/arguing" are phrases that can escalate your child's behavioral problems. A better alternative is telling them that you can't understand them when they talk in a negative tone. Once they start speaking to you more normally and respectfully, listen to them and respond patiently.
"Tell me what the problem is and we will resolve it together"
Just because your child is acting up or misbehaving doesn't mean you leave their side, or yell at them or worse, give them the silent treatment. Instead communicate. Ask them what the problem is and propose to find a solution together. This way your child will most likely feel at ease and more supported.
"How do we ask?"
It could be exhausting to constantly remind your child about manners and etiquettes. This could lead to breakdowns and sudden bursts of anger. You may even yell or nag them for being undisciplined. But it's not the right way to approach. A simple one-liner "How do we ask?", "What do we say?", "What did I say earlier?" can be a very subtle yet effective way to remind children of their responsibilities. However, how you ask these questions is also very important. Do not shout or yell or frown, rather give them a shoulder pat and soften your tone. Avoid being scoldish or a nag.
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