How NOT to guilt-trip a child

Raising well-behaved, disciplined children may seem like a task, which is why some parents resort to punishments and harsh disciplining strategies. One of these parenting techniques involve using guilt or subjecting children to guilt-trips in the hope that they may get back on track. While it may work for some kids for a short period of time, there is no guarantee that it will prove effective in the long run. Having said that, let us find out what guilt-tripping really is...

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Guilt-tripping is a form of manipulation that involves shaming or blaming someone to make them comply with a demand or a request.

Parents often use this technique to discipline their kids or to make them feel bad about doing something wrong. While making kids feel guilty about certain things like cheating on an exam or stealing help them take accountability for their actions and become more responsible, there are certain guilt tactics parents use that can affect children's self-esteem and confidence. This involves making kids feel ashamed, calling them out, while also blaming them for everything that goes wrong.

Guilt trips are likely to affect children's confidence and self esteem, making them yearn for other people's validation. They fail to trust their own choices, decisions and instincts, forcing them to be dependent on other people's opinion of them. Furthermore, experts believe subjecting kids to guilt trips may not be an effective parenting strategy as it does not truly help children understand what they have done wrong, especially if it hasn't been clearly communicated.

These are some ways to tell that you're guilt-tripping your kid:

- Making verbal statements and speeches that spark a guilty reaction

- Using sarcasm

- Giving a silent treatment and distancing yourself from your child to teach them a lesson

- Acting upset but not saying what's wrong

- Making kids feel like they owe you something

"It's okay. You hardly have time for me now."

"Do you regret it now? I told you to get your act together"

"I had so much expectations from you"

"Do you feel good, now that you have disappointed me?"

Good communication is the answer to all parenting problems. Rather than blaming or manipulating your child to get things done, talk to them. Be a good listener and understand what they're going through.

As a parent, you must be a guiding light for your child. Let them know how their negative behaviour is affecting others and why they should transform themselves for the better.

Parents must also recognize the triggers that tempt them to use guilt-trips and try finding ways to alter them.

Build a space where your child feels free to make mistakes and learn from them. Teach them responsibility rather than taunting them for being irresponsible.