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Do you unconsciously ‘insult’ your child? 5 mistakes that can ruin their mental health

TOI Lifestyle Desk
| ETimes.in | Last updated on - Apr 21, 2026, 21:00 IST
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Do you unconsciously ‘insult’ your child? 5 mistakes that can ruin their mental health

Children’s growing years shape their future, however, when it comes to growth, limiting responsibilities to fulfilling nutritional needs isn’t where the story ends. In fact, nurturing a child’s emotional and psychological well-being, quietly shapes their mental health.
However, sometimes, without realising it, parents make the mistake of “insulting” their child, and over time, these repeated mistakes take a toll on the child’s mental health.
These are 5 unconscious insults that parents mistake for disciplining, and how these mistakes can ruin your child’s mental health.

2/6

Constantly correcting and criticising

Criticism isn’t always healthy, especially when done constantly.
Instead of saying “you’ve done it all wrong," parents should allow their children to see the brighter side of things. “What you’ve done is good, this is how we can make it better..”such affirmations can help children see things in a positive way.


3/6

Using sarcasm or shaming as a means of disciplining

A recent study in BMJ Open found that parents who ridicule or humiliate their children risk leaving them with a 64% higher chance of having poor mental health as an adult.
Instead correcting them privately and respectfully can go a long way.


4/6

Constantly comparing your child to others

“Your friend has better grades than you.” This sentence feels like a mere comparison, but for a child the same words can cause deeper damage.
This can create anxiety and insecurity, especially around attachment.


5/6

Judging your child’s choices

Sometimes parents judge their children’s choices. For example, telling your child; “Why would you choose that terrible hairstyle?” Such criticism can create a sense of identity crisis.

When feedback targets the child instead of the choice, it replaces confidence with self-doubt. A more neutral, curious approach helps them feel respected while still learning to make better decisions.


6/6

Not apologising when you’re wrong

Sometimes parents feel apologising will weaken their authority. However, admitting mistakes is a part of expressing one’s emotions, and when these emotions aren’t met properly, children are left with suppressing their emotions, which is another factor of poor mental health. On the other hans, when parents express themselves openly in front of their children. It builds a sense of trust and respect.


A parent’s unconscious habits such as sarcasm, constant criticism, comparison, judgment of choices, or refusing to apologise can slowly erode a child’s emotional security. On the other hand, mindful communication, rooted in respect, empathy, and emotional awareness, helps children feel safe, valued, and understood.

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Copyright © Jun 8, 2026, 12.14AM IST Bennett, Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved. For reprint rights: Times Syndication Service