"Do parents have a favorite child?" Kids answer!

A Quora user named Mary Shore shares her experience as the "unfavorable offspring".

She writes: My parents always got my sister nicer things and responded to her needs more. She got a brand new car when she turned 16 and I got a beat up car that was 15 years old (I had to pay for it too, while she did not). Birthdays and the holidays especially confirmed that my sister was the favorite. One time she needed a minor surgery for not taking care of herself. My parents spent thousands on her surgery. That same year I needed a medical test for a disorder that can happen to anyone. They told me I could not have the test done (turns out I had to get it a few years later so I lived without knowing what was wrong for years).

Mary goes on to write how she feels her health complication is the reason behind the callous attitude of her parents towards her.

"Medical bills over the years made them resent me more. My sister was healthy and went on to have a great life. She had a college degree with a job, while I worked what I could despite also going to school. They always kept pushing me to do things I wasn’t capable of physically and getting angry when I couldn’t do those things (a first born overachiever expectation they instilled in me)," she writes in a long post which has over 41k views.

Mary's case is a classic example of how kids interpret the love of their parents for them and for their siblings.

Many kids, who are often seen as sensitive ones, get too affected when they see their parents showering love to their siblings.

Kids feel neglected very often and if this is not addressed on time the piled up emotions shows up in other aspects of their life.

On this, Mary writes, "I was a little rebellious in school due to how strict and religious my parents were. They were overly strict towards me so naturally I rebelled more. I never did drugs, drank, or got pregnant but I would skip school sometimes or do silly things to bother them since I knew they didn’t care for me much anyways (my GPA was perfect though). They used to call me the “problem child” and said that often with me present to other people when they were asked about their family."

Kids often say their siblings are given less severe punishments than them.

For example, this anonymous answer in Quora portrays the emotion of a child who thinks his brother got a lesser punishment for a serious mistake.

He narrates how his mother gave him burn marks for stealing an eraser and how she didn't give any such 'brutal punishment' to his brother who stole an expensive pen from school.

"This is just one of the bitter incidents that traumatized me and I wish I could say more. But I don't want to as I live away from my parents and I am trying hard to forget the past," the answer on Quora reads.

Elder siblings say the younger ones are favored most, younger ones say the elder ones are given more attention.

Many kids feel that their parents tend to help their siblings more than they help them. Be it homework or any other work, siblings often see a difference in the attitude of their parents towards them.

Many kids feel that for the same mistake they get punished harder and the sibling just gets told what to do instead.

The equality that parents teach their kids is often missed out in their parenting. This is where a misunderstanding gets into the child parent relationship.

Maintain equality in one way or the other.

Now, this is easier said than done. Hence make sure to address the inequality as quickly as possible.

Set common rules for all. Talk about equality more often so that you too remember what needs to be done and what gets missed.

If you have the urge to favor one of your kids at one particular time, irrespective of what you think, stop doing that. Create a conducive atmosphere in the family so that your actions are understood properly.

Always remember that unseen trauma is a big thing among kids.

Now let's understand this from a parent's point of view.

Yes, I have a favorite child. In fact, I have two, writes Katie Ann Holton. "I have sons, one 21, the other, 16. I'm not sure it's possible to quantify love. I do know I love both of them with my whole heart. I do, however, have situational favorites," she adds.

"I love to watch movies with the little one. The big one is always asking questions about what's going on in the movie. "I love you, Son, but shut up and watch the movie. You have a brain the size of a planet. Use it," she writes.

"I love talking with my firstborn about what's going on in his life. He's 21, and a Junior at UCLA. He has a long-term girlfriend. He told me that I won the cool boyfriend's parent award. He and his girlfriend enjoy dinner with me, my partner and the little brother. I don't lecture them. I treat them like the bright engaging young adults they are. Apparently, not so much with my ex or with the girlfriend's parents," she adds.

The mother writes how she enjoys spending time with both her kids and has her favorite but only on different situations.

"I do love both my children differently, but I also love them equally. Completely," she concludes.

Sudha Murty’s guide on romance for youngsters is going viral