'Buy alcohol, get comments and stares for free', say Delhi women

That Delhi can get unsafe for

women

is no state secret. Women have faced harassment while travelling to work in the Metro, partying at a pub, or even watching a movie. Although buying liquor from a wine shop might not be as common as the above tasks, it brings with itself, its fair share of harassment for women in Delhi-NCR. On Monday night, two women in their twenties from Gurgaon were groped, molested, and asked for 'their rate' by a group of men on Gurgaon's MG Road, after they bought alcohol from a store located there. The five-minute walk from the store to an auto-rickshaw turned into a horror story for the two. Across Delhi, women of all ages say that while such incidents might be extreme, the fact that a woman feels scared, isolated, and uncomfortable when buying alcohol from a liquor store holds true for almost all of them.

"Stares, sniggers, and snide remarks are part and parcel of every girl's liquor-buying experience in Delhi," women living in NCR told us (BCCL/ Ranjit Kumar)

'A middle-aged man started giving me disapproving looks'In the area where I live, there isn't such a big deal about a woman buying alcohol. But a few months ago, I was at a friend's place in west Delhi for a party and decided to take a bottle with me. When I reached the billing counter, a middle-aged man standing next to me gave me disapproving looks and said, 'Aajkal ki ladkiyon mein tameez hi nahi hai.' I was irked by his patronizing tone, so I snapped back, saying, 'Uncle, aap bhi yahan koi prasad toh lene aaye nahi ho.' A few people laughed and that man immediately shut up.

- Namrata Singh, a resident of South Extension

'Men repeatedly kept touching me at the store'Honestly, I have gotten used to the stares, glances, and rude comments from the men at liquor shops. Last December, I was at a liquor store on MG Road and there was a lot of rush at the counter, and men repeatedly kept touching me. As soon as I would turn, they would say, 'Bheed hai, galti se ho gaya.' When I tried to protest, one said, 'Ek toh ladki hokar daaru peeti hai, upar se lad rahi hai.' I didn't want to argue because there were three-four of them and I was alone, but it felt really scary

- Preeti Arora*, from Phase V, Gurgaon

There are several kind of comments that women get when they go out for buying liquor

'A drunk man asked us for our names and address and no one stopped him'You always feel judged, whether you go at night or during the day. Two of my friends and I had gone to a wine shop at around 10pm. The moment we were about to leave, a drunk man asked us for our names and where we lived, and nobody stopped him. There were two-three men around who just watched and smirked. I think women who wish to go out to buy liquor should be confident. Otherwise there is no way you can do this in Gurgaon

- Khushi Sharma*, a student

If you happen to make eye contact with men at shops, you get 'suggestive' looks in returnI've often bought alcohol from thekas in Def Col, CP, Mayur Vihar and Noida, without any male friend accompanying me. If it’s night and there are people at the shop, it is certain that people will stare and heads will turn to take a better look at you. It is written on their faces, 'oh ladki aayi hai daaru lene!' It’s best to ignore – just walk in, buy your stuff and get out of the place. No one has ever misbehaved with me, but people do stare. If shop owners notice it, they attend to me first as they too want a woman out of their store quickly. I have a friend who often buys alcohol from liquor shops in Mayur Vihar and it’s usually late in the night. She makes sure she never makes eye contact with anyone. She told me that if you do that, you get ‘suggestive’ looks from men at the shop.

- Isha Gupta*, marketing manager from Greater Noida

With a bottle in hand, you know that you are being judged by everyone
Unlike a guy, I can’t just go to a shop to pick a bottle. The ambience is such that you feel awkward. I prefer going in the afternoon and not beyond 7-8pm. But recently, I had to pick a bottle and it was almost 10pm. I thought really hard from where I could buy a bottle without being judged. I went to Nehru Place, but the distance from my car to the shop felt too long. With a bottle in hand, you know that you are being judged by everyone – be it the autowallah or the cop on duty.

-Ankita Rai*, a software professional who lives in Malviya Nagar

'Madam ko bottle pehle lekar jane do yahan se'
I prefer going to malls when I have to buy alcohol or I order it. Once I had to buy alcohol and I was in CP, so I stopped my auto and went to a shop. Men at the store made way for me as soon as they saw me. And someone said, 'Madam ko bottle pehle lekar jane do yahan se.' Nobody misbehaved with me, but the tone in which it was said and the way they smiled at the comment made me uncomfortable. And then the autodriver told me, 'Madam, mujhe paise de deti, main hi le aata apke liye.'

- Disha Sinha*, a bank employee who lives in Mayur Vihar

A drunk man walked up to us and asked our name. Others just smirked and watched
Two of my friends and I had gone to a wine shop in Gurgaon at around 10pm. The moment we were about to leave, a drunk man walked up to us and asked us our name and where we lived. The shocking part was, nobody stopped him. There were two-three men around who just watched and smirked. I think, women who want to buy liquor should be confident. Otherwise there is no way you can do this in Gurgaon.

- Khushi Sharma*, an MA student

Stares are part of every girl’s liquor-buying experience
I have always purchased alcohol from liquor stores during day time, never from thekas. But even then I always feel conscious. That is because every time you walk in, everyone stares at you as if you have committed a sin. People tell me that merely stares shouldn’t make one uncomfortable. But when everyone is staring at you, it does make you uncomfortable. The stares, sniggers, and snide remarks (never to your face) are a part and parcel of every girl’s liquor-buying experience in Delhi.

-Tanvi Mathur, a marketing professional from East Delhi

In Gurgaon, you have to be careful about the place you are buying liquor from
What happened in Gurgaon was a very unfortunate case. I often go out to buy alcohol and have thankfully never faced anything like this. It depends a lot from where you are buying alcohol. You have to be careful that you don't go to deserted areas. In Gurgaon, there are many such places where you have to think twice before going. And those thekas are equally dangerous for men and women.

- Shreya Bhargav*, who works and lives in Gurgaon

I have been to a liquor shop twice in Gurgaon. The shopkeeper strictly meant business, so there were no judgmental looks. The first time when I went there, I was a bit scared because of the stigma around the idea of a girl going to a liquor shop. I had to convince myself that it was my choice and I can’t be judged for it. The more a place is secluded, the higher is the risk of something wrong happening to you. You must ensure that someone knows where you are, and try not to go alone. Also, your body language matters – be confident and firm.

-Jagriti Arora*, a PHD student

We’re used to men staring at us, buying liquor or not
We went to a theka in Saket during day time, so we weren’t that scared. We walked in and picked up what we wanted. We could feel that people were staring at us. Nobody passed any comment, and I think it actually depends on the place where the wine shop is situated and the time when you are going to buy liquor. Living in Delhi, I am now used to people staring at us no matter what we are doing. So we did not make a big deal out of it and bought what we wanted and left.

- Roshni Chawla*, a student who lives in Saket

There are only a few liquor shops in Gurgaon where a woman can go alone
Buying alcohol in Gurgaon alone is something that I usually. Though Gurgaon has thekas and wine shops in abundance, there are only a few where a woman can go alone and buy alcohol. I’ve never gone to any theka, but only wine shops in Sector 56. You do feel awkward the moment you enter the liquor shop and if you take time deciding what you want, you will ‘attract attention’. People will keep staring at you till you leave.

– Tanvi Shukla*, an advertisingprofessional who stays in Sector 56 in Gurgaon

(* Names changed on request)

-Abhimanyu.Mathur@timesgroup.com, Divya.Kaushik@timesgroup.com, Niharika.Lal@timesgroup.com and Riya.Sharma@timesgroup.com